Xott Humor Story

Kate: Mom, do you know what I’m going to give you for your birthday?

Mom: No, Honey, what?

Kate: A nice teapot.

Mom: But I’ve got a nice teapot.

Kate: No, you haven’t. I’ve just dropped it.

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      Father: Jack, why do you drink so much water?

Jack: I have just had an apple, Dad.

Father: What’s that got to do with it?

Jack: I forgot to wash the apple.

Billy and Bobby were brothers, and they often had fights with each other.

Last Saturday their mother said to them, “I’m going to cook our lunch now. Go out and play in the garden – and be good.”

“Yes, Mummy.” the two boys answered, and they went out.

They played in the garden for half an hour, and then Billy ran into the kitchen, “Mummy, ” he said, “Bobby’s broken a window in Mrs. Allens’ house.”

“He’s a bad boy,” his mother said. “How did he break it?”

“I threw a stone at him,” Billy answered,”and he quickly ducked.”

A smiling boy arrived home from a dental visit,Hey mom,the dentist says I have no cavities.

His mom stared at him wide-eyed and quite surprised,It’s impossible –you never brush your teeth after cleaning the chocolate box before you go to bed!

Then the boy opened his mouth –he had not a tooth left!

Teacher of Physical Education: Have you ever seen mixed doubles, boys?

Nick: Yes, sir. Quite often. I saw it even last night.

Teacher: Please tell us something about it.

Nick: Oh, sorry, sir. My father always says, ‘Domestic shame should not be published.’

In class the teacher showed pictures of various birds. Then he asked one of the students, What kind of bird do you like best, Jack?

Jack thought a moment, then answered, Fried chicken, sir.

The hostess apologized to her unexpected guest for serving an apple-pie without any cheese. The little boy of the family left the room quietly for a moment and returned with a piece of cheese which he laid on the guest’s plate. The visitor smiled, put the cheese into his mouth and then said: “You must have better eyes than your mother, sonny. Where did you find the cheese?” “In the rat-trap, sir,” replied the boy.

Mother: Mary, why do you yell and scream so much? Play quietly like Eddie. See, he doesn’t make a sound.

Mary: Of course he doesn’t. Mom, it’s part of the game we are playing. He is Daddy coming home late, and I’m you.

Mr. and Mrs. Taylor had a seven-year-old boy named Pat. Now Mrs. Taylor was expecting another child.

Pat had seen babies in other people’s houses and had not liked them very much, so he was not delighted about the news that there was soon going to be one in his house too.

One evening Mr. and Mrs. Taylor were making plans for the baby’s arrival. “This house won’t be big enough for use all when the baby comes,” said Mr. Taylor.

Pat came into the room just then and said, “What are you talking about?”"We were saying that we’ll have to move to another house now, because the new baby’s coming,” his mother answered.

“It’s no use,” said Pat hopelessly, “He’ll follow us there.”

Peter was ten years old. One day his friend Paul said to him, “I’m going to have a birthday party on Saturday, Peter. Can you you come?”

Peter asked his mother, and she said, “Yes, you can go.” She phoned Paul’s mother to tell her.

Before Peter went to the party on Saturday afternoon, his mother said to him, “Now, Peter, don’t forget to be polite. Don’t ask for food. Wait until someone gives it to you.”

“All right, Mom,” Peter answered, and he went to Paul’s house on his bicycle.
 
There were a lot of children at the party. They played together for an hour, and then Paul’s mother gave them some food; but she forgot to give Peter any. He waited politely for a few minutes, and then he held his plate up in the air and said loudly, “Does anyone want a nice clean plate?”